August 2005:  Men & Women Sexually Addicted

 

Click on the links below to go directly to that article. 

 

It's Not Just About Sex 

Sexual addiction - the word alone typically generates an emotional response. The reactions can range from shame over a secret life of sexual addiction; to sorrow over dreams lost with a spouse’s addictive behavior; to confusion about what is meant by the terms or any host of other feelings.

 

Harry Schaumburg’s book False Intimacy is a good source of basic information about the nature of sexual addiction. He defines sexual addiction as “when a person practices sexual activity to the point of negatively affecting his or her ability to deal with other aspects of life, becomes involved in other relationships - whether real or through fantasy - and becomes dependent on sexual experiences as his or her primary source of fulfillment (p. 20).”

Both the behavioral aspects and the deep brokenness fueling those behaviors must be addressed for victory and healing. As Schaumburg states, “Once we understand that the primary goal of sexually addictive behavior is to avoid relational pain - essentially, to control life - we can begin to uncover the core problem (p. 18).” He also asserts that “sexual addiction isn’t just an issue of sex or even of external behavior: It’s a byproduct of loneliness, pain, the self-centered demand to be loved and accepted regardless of the consequences, and a loss of vital relationship with God.”

We live in a world where God’s beautiful plan for sexual intimacy in the context of marriage has been blurred by much sexual brokenness. If you find that much of your time, energy and focus is spent coordinating your next “sexual fix”, we plead with you to look into the resources available this month and assess your need for Godly counsel and support. That help is absolutely available and productive.

  

 

From Our Bookshelf to Yours

Click on the title for a link to learn more about any of these resources through ChristianBook.Com 

 

The Game Plan - Joe Dallas

“Dallas lays out a positive five-point strategy for overcoming harmful sexual addiction”

  False Intimacy – Harry Schaumburg

“False Intimacy goes beyond behavioral symptoms and willpower-based solutions to provide biblical guideposts on the journey to restoration.”

 The Silent War  – Henry Rogers

Written to specifically address the issue of men using pornography, this book offers statistics and personal experience to draw the big picture of men and porn in our world.

  

Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addition – Mark Laaser

“Sensitive to the shame of sexual addiction without minimizing its sinfulness, Dr. Laaser traces the roots of the problem, discusses its pattern and impact, and maps out a Biblical approach to self-control and sexual integrity."
 

Don't Call it Love – Patrick Carnes

A classic work from a secular pioneer in the understanding and treatment of sexual addictions.


 

No Stone – Marine Ferree

A classic work from a secular pioneer in the understanding and treatment of sexual addictions.

 

   

Web Links

Our featured Web Link this month is www.faithfulandtrueministries.com

“It is definitely possible to recover from a sexual addiction and to break free from a life of sexual sin.”  With such a positive and confident welcome to the website, you are sure to find some helpful resources here.

 

Dr. Mark Laaser is known throughout Christian circles as an excellent source of information and treatment opportunities through his web site and ministry. We would strongly encourage you to visit this site.

 

 

These sites also have some great resources!

www.purelifeministries.org - Pure Life focuses on Biblical, intensive recovery programs for men caught in sexual addictions. Ranging from on-line accountability to intensive inpatient programs, this site offers many options for those men wishing to address their addiction.

 

www.family.org/married/ – Focus provides a large variety of resources for all sorts of marital and family needs from a Christian worldview. Check out this link to their “married” page—with articles and resources for all facets of married life.

 

www.FamilyLife.com – Family Life also offers a plethora of Christian resources and a large library to browse and order from.  This marriage link offers devotions for couples, tips to rekindle romance, marriage forums, and parenting ideas.

 

www.genesiscounseling.org - Highlighting Joe Dallas’ highly effective ministry, this site offers excellent resources and information.

 

www.hopeandnewlife.org - A local ministry with excellent resources and local resource information for those struggling with various kinds of sexual wholeness.

 

www.bethesdaworkshops.org - An excellent source of information for women who struggle with sexual addictions. Marnie comes from a Christian perspective and has a powerful personal testimony.

 

www.aacc.net – This site is home to the American Association of Christian Counselors.  Discover training opportunities, seminars, resources, and more on a host of topics.

 

 

 

 

Getting Help…

Share Your Struggle.   

At the Counseling Center at the Crossing many have found a safe place to share their struggle with sexual addictions. Our counselors are skilled in providing accountability plans, as well as nurturing clients to understand what needs they are trying futilely to fulfill with their behaviors. Only in our Lord do we find ultimate love, understanding and acceptance. We enjoy helping people journey to sexual wholeness and would welcome your call at 317-575-6500 to schedule an initial appointment to meet with a caring counselor.

  

©2004 Counseling Center at the Crossing    317-575-6500

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