|
|
October 2006: Anger Myths and Management Click on the links below to go directly to that article.
Through the years I have come to realize that many Christians and non-Christians alike believe that all anger is sinful, wrong, to be avoided, denied or ignored. However, if we review what the Bible has to say about anger, we realize that God can be angry, Christ was angry at times, and that Biblical teaching assumes we all will experience anger. Our challenge in Ephesians 4:26 is to be angry, and yet do not sin.
In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry Ephesians 4:26 This month, let’s focus on exploring fully some common myths about anger (particularly, some highlighted in one of our resources: Helping Angry People by Glenn Taylor and Rod Wilson) and then briefly review some principles and ideas for healthy anger management.
Myths and Truths
Myth 1 – The Bible does not have much to say about anger. Truth 1 – The Bible addresses anger numerous times. An excellent way to get acquainted with Biblical truth on this topic is to look under the topic of anger in a Biblical concordance or view Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary online.
Myth 2 – All anger is sin. Truth 2 – The Bible assumes we will be angry and teaches that we can be angry without sinning based on our choices for dealing with the emotion.
Myth 3 – Anger and forgiveness are unrelated. Truth 3 – You can forgive someone but still experience anger with them. In the ultimate example of forgiveness and anger being related, Taylor and Wilson state: “Calvary is not simply a special event that made it possible for us to go to heaven. Rather, it is the full display of God’s wrath against our sin.”
Myth 4 – Anger is either a psychological or a spiritual issue. Truth 4 – Anger is much more comprehensive than that. It involves us physically, relationally, emotionally, cognitively, historically, and spiritually.
Myth 5 – Anger is caused by circumstances or other people. Truth 5 – We are responsible for our own responses to anger. Our response is not dictated by others or the situation.
Myth 6 – Anger is resolved in one way. Truth 6 – Different situations demand different responses, and we have many healthy options.
Myth 7 – Anger is resolved by getting it off your chest. Truth 7 – Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
Broad Anger Management Principles
Taylor and Wilson describe a “Productive Anger Cycle” as follows:
To better equip yourself to manage your anger, develop a solid self-concept and strengthen your self-understanding. As you do this, acknowledge and confess your emotions to God, asking for His help in dealing with them. It is important to anchor your value in God’s design and purposes for you. Also, learn to keep an inner radar on your emotions and sense when anger is growing within.
Think through your anger. When you feel the emotions rising, ask yourself: Why am I angry? What do I want from this encounter? How can I get this change to occur?
Then, work through past issues and learn to forgive. The benefits of forgiving include: § freedom from past hurts § reduced amounts of anger experienced § being present and future-focused § open doors for further relationship development
These suggestions are only a beginning point. But, it’s important to start somewhere. Another resource The Anger Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth outlines 13 anger management steps and would be a good supplement for working on growth in this area.
Websites These are our favorite reference sites with some of the best resources for all kinds of topics. Bookmark them today!
Books Helping Angry People – Glenn Taylor and Rod Wilson – Intended as a resource for pastoral counselors, this book highlights important information and uses interesting case-study presentations to help the reader make application. Provides a “step-by-step, biblically based approach to helping people understand and deal with their anger.”
Make Anger Your Ally – Neil Clark Warren – Utilizing his extensive clinical experience, Dr. Warren provides excellent information and ideas for managing anger.
The Anger Workbook – Les Carter and Frank Minirth – “A 13-step interactive plan to help you 1) understand how unmet needs can feed anger, 2) realize how other emotions can influence anger, and 3) find healthy ways to express and control your anger.”
Anger’s intensity can be challenging when we are hurting. If you feel too overwhelmed with behavioral patterns related to anger that are seemingly impossible to change, it’s important to talk with a trained professional who can provide confidentiality and accountability in your journey toward healing and healthy behavior.
The Counseling Center at the Crossing has licensed, professional counselors who operate from a Christian perspective and are happy to be of service. Feel free to contact us at 317-575-6500. May God empower us all to be authentic in our emotions and Christ-like in their expression.
|
|
©2005 Counseling Center at the Crossing 317-575-6500 Webmaster: info@indyhope.com Web Design and Production: Fishhook |
